Hello! I think tumblr might have eaten my question so I'm resending :) I am just wondering if it is normal to bleed a lot on orgasm without penetration? I know I don't have any infection if that helps


This is one of those things that could be nothing or something serious.  It’s a very good idea for you to check in with a healthcare provider and have a full check up.

Orgasm can cause contractions of the uterus, which works sort of like a period, essentially squeezing a bit of blood out.  This can be fine and not-worrisome if you’re about to start your period, since the hormone balance is just right and your uterine lining may have already begun to shed.  

However, if this happens throughout the cycle it’s more likely to be an issue.  It could be:

  • Pre-cancerous cells on your cervix
  • Pre-cancerous cells in your uterus
  • Hormonal imbalance
  • Cervical polyp
  • Endometrial polyp
  • STIs (you say you’ve been tested)

So how do you figure out what it is?  Go see a healthcare practitioner.  The tests for the conditions listed above are:

  • Pre-cancerous cells on your cervix —> Pap smear
  • Pre-cancerous cells in your uterus —> Endometrial biopsy
  • Hormonal imbalance —> Blood test
  • Cervical polyp —> Speculum exam or transvaginal ultrasound
  • Endometrial polyp —> Ultrasound
  • STIs (you say you’ve been tested) —> Urine and/or blood test

Hope that helps!

I am in my second trimester, and I've found sex to be very uncomfortable these days. When I get on top, it helps, but I get this terrible sensation after awhile. It almost feels like a uti, kinda burns and feels like I need to pee? It's hard to describe, but it lasts for several minutes after sex and durning (plus the cramping, which I've read is normal)I don't have a uti, I just have no idea what's going on down there, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Not being intimate is killin me!


That does sounds like a vaginal infection to me.  The burning is pretty consistent with either a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis.  Pregnancy hormones fuss with everything, and they also make the vaginal discharge more basic, allowing it to be more susceptible to infections.  This is one reason why pregnant people end up with more vaginal infections.

Head on over to your provider and get them to do a quick check of your discharge under the microscope.  If there’s something going on they’ll help you out with it.

The other thing you’re talking about is positional discomfort, and that’s pretty common during pregnancy as well.  Your cervix gets flooded with blood, which is great for your pregnancy but not so great for your comfort.  When something hits your cervix, like a penis or fingers or a toy, it is just more uncomfortable than normal.  Nothing really to do about that except to avoid it.

The images below are taken from goodtoknow.co.uk.  They are unfortunately all white, skinny, non-pregnant people, and the language on the website is incredibly gendered, as an FYI.  Sorry about that.  If anyone wants to a) make photos or illustration of themselves and their partners doing these positions (probably clothed is best), I would be thrilled.  Over the moon.  And I would get rid of all these silly illustrations below.

Some good pregnancy positions for penis/strap-on-in-vagina sex:

  • Sitting on top: Great for not putting pressure on the belly and getting a better angle for cervixes.
  • Spooning: Again, takes pressure off the belly and gives a shallow thrust to the penis/strap-on, keeping it away from the cervix.  Also good for when you’re pooped and you just want to lay there while someone else does all the work.  You can also pop a pillow under the side of your belly for a little extra support.
  • Half-off-the-bed/table: This is sort of a special-for-pregnancy missionary.  It gives you the forward facing intimacy while bringing the top partner’s weight away from your belly.

  • Side Saddle: This gives you a little more control for those days when you feel like you can’t help but hit your cervix.  With the penis/strap-on essentially pointing sideways you’ll hit the sidewalls of the vagina but avoid the tender bits.
  • Standing: Surprise sex in the garage while you’re working on your bicycle?  Semi-public sex in the backyard as you get down the ladder from cleaning out the gutters?  Go for it!  This position is best with one leg raised for a little extra access, and it keeps the penis/strap-on thrusting shallowly and not only avoiding the cervix but also going straight for the g-spot.
  • Backwards-facing: You get to control the pace plus it gives you plenty of room to use your vibrator!
  • Butt-Up: The pictures don’t show it very well but these are great low-energy positions for avoiding the cervix.  If you pop a pillow or two under your butt you’ll be way more comfortable.

  • From behind: This one can be good because it takes the pressure off your belly, but for some people the depth with which the penis/strap-on can now plunge is just a little too much.  Give it a shot and see how you fit.
  • Sitting up: These are also great, but be careful while using them - some of these illustrations look a little precarious.  Your legs might also get tired, but see if your partner will help out with the thrusting.

Now, how to apply that to fingers/hands/toys?

Try making shallow thrusts and pointing the object forward, toward the belly button.  That way you put pressure on the g-spot and good stimulation to the Skene’s glands for ejaculation, and you avoid the cervix.  Before inserting a toy, consider using your fingers to assess the depth and location of the cervix.  Is it pointing right at you? Is it pointing to one side?  Is it pointing up or down?  That way you’ll know where to point the toy.

And remember - although it’s true that you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant once you’re already pregnant, you still can get STIs, so use barriers unless you both know your STI status.

I hope this helps!   Have safe, comfortable sex!

What’s the deal with the HPV vaccine?



Someone asked us…

what’s the deal with the HPV vaccine? should i get it? what does it even do?

The HPV vaccine is really awesome and important. Human Papillomavirus, or HPV, is the most common STD out there nearly all sexually active people will get HPV at some point in their lives. Most of the time, these infections are harmless and go away on their own. However, some types of HPV have been linked to cancer and genital warts.

There are two HPV vaccines out there right now: Gardasil and Cervarix. Both vaccines are given in a series of three separate shots over six months.

Like the common cold or the flu, there are a LOT of different types of HPV. Like, more than 100. Types 16 and 18 cause about 70 percent of cervical cancer cases, and both Gardasil and Cervarix protect against these. Gardasil also protects against types 6 and 11 — the two that cause about 90 percent of genital warts.

The HPV vaccine is recommended for all people between the ages of 11-12. That’s because it works best if gotten before becoming sexually active. But you can totally get it up through age 26. Just keep in mind that it doesn’t cure HPV if you already have it. Like all vaccines, it’s prevention, not treatment. So the earlier you get it, the better it works.

With a new school year around the corner, now’s the perfect time to get the HPV vaccine and spread the word about how important it is. So if you, a friend, sibling, or anyone else you know between the ages of 9 and 26 still haven’t gotten the vaccine, encourage them to talk to their nurse or doctor. Or call your nearest Planned Parenthood our health centers provide nearly 40,000 HPV vaccines a year, so we’ve gotten pretty good at it!

-Kellie at Planned Parenthood

Myth vs. Fact


Sex is supposed to be loud - that’s how you show that it feels good.

Myth! Watching any mainstream porn clip will make you totally think this is true. One touch, and people are yelling and moaning like their life depended on it. Truth is, sex doesn’t have to be a competition of who can make the neighbors more uncomfortable. You don’t have to grunt loudly just to let your partner know they are doing the right thing. More often than not, sex is quiet and satisfaction is rooted in heavy breathing and uncontrollable moaning. The noises that surface are your body’s natural response to pleasure. Granted, some people do yell as a natural response and are loud during sex. That’s perfectly fine. But forcing certain reactions and sounds just to encourage your partner may take away the genuineness. Don’t forget, sex is all about being authentic and having fun without feeling forced to!

Cindy, Sex Educator

Hey, I'm a 20 year-old woman and I can't seem to have an orgasm during sex with my boyfriend. For a long time, I felt that it was my fault, that something was wrong with me. But when I educated myself more, I eventually made my self orgasm, but nothing during sex. My bf tries but I feel he gives up after no success. It's common for women not to achieve orgasm by intercourse... Right? What could you recommend to help us, (especially me) haha, out?

Yes, it’s common for people with vaginas not to orgasm during sex. Vaginal penetration alone rarely is enough for orgasm.

You should teach your boyfriend what makes you feel good. Encourage him and let him know he’s not a failure, he’s just the average person.

Additionally, think of employing toys. Small vibrators used on the clitoris during intercourse can do wonders.


when they say “when i say heterosexual i refer to the nature of the relationship, not the sexualities of the people involved” what they mean is “I am knowingly using language upsetting to bisexuals, and i don’t care”

So it's been about two to three days since my ovulation and I'm still having ovary pain any ideas

We can have cramps and minor pains throughout our cycle. As long as they are not unbearable and chronic, usually they mean nothing. If you’ve never had pain lasting this long before, and there’s no other symptoms, it’s unlikely there’s anything wrong.

This WebMD article details signs to look out for in conjunction with ovarian pain. (gendered language)

I am a DFAB on hormonal birth control, and I use the barrier method with my DMAB partner. My partner owns emergency contraceptive, but if I'm taking my BC exactly as instructed, wouldn't there be no need for the plan B in the case of the barrier method failing? I know if our barrier method ever failed, they would want me to take the plan B, but I wouldn't want to change my menstrual cycle. Wouldn't I have to start a new pill pack too? What can say to my partner without scaring them off? thanks!

Your birth control protects much better than emergency contraception. Emergency contraception is typically for when you’re not sure if you’re safe or not, and if you’re taking your birth control as instructed, you’re safe. The barrier method you’re using is merely double enforcement.

Emergency contraception should only affect one cycle, though, if at all. It’s completely safe to take with birth control. You don’t need to start a new pack if you took it, or if your barrier method failed.

You should explain to your partner that, while it’s reasonable to worry about every little possibility, emergency contraception is unnecessary when birth control is used properly. Look up your method and show them how insignificant the failure rate is.


people who act like the fact that teenagers dislike being separated from their phones is a harbinger of social downfall bother me b/c

yes friend this is a piece of equipment worth hundreds of dollars filled with personal information and ephemeral sentimental value 

woah how unfounded 

viwan themes